what a great halftime show. pourin one out for all the kids at youth group who are currently listening to a small sermon

I’m not trying to throw shade but I’m 99% sure Finneas is just rickety cricket from it’s always sunny after he got clean

my fav thing about dating apps is that quirky cute thing about how no one wants to be there or talk or meet you or use the app it’s so cute

I need fucking weed Jesus fucking Christ

post consistently, consistently lose followers, it’s a proven method

in Boston looking for marky mark so i can beat his ass

my hands still have that nice “just ate a burger” smell and that’s nice

Doc Watson is and always will be the king of Appalachia.

in a casino watching oceans 11 to brush up

Lose yourself playing in the casino; i have accessed my higher power. I cannot lose

Dana white just came to the merch table and pulled out a 3 inch stack of hundreds and bought a cd for 400 dollars

Photographing a graduation today, and the speaking is announcing which students cum loudly????? Rude!!!!!

i still can’t spell lynrd skinnerd

My target audience is the doom scrollers

in Brooklyn an im getting 2018 drunk which is where i down a pint of liquor in 10 minutes and then hit a fucking a wall 3 hours in

Someone stole my fucking Chicken wings and it will be the unsolved murder of my life

7:50am and eating a chopped cheese for breakfast

the shining is mid

Kim wexler is a bonafide baddie

“if i was ever gonna rob a bank with anyone it would be you” *fists bumps* gaelen