For those wondering why Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua is quiet when Nairobi residents living in informal settlements are being evicted like my grandmother's dog, Osama - here is your answer. Someone said William Ruto is using the Daniel Moi political rulebook and we stan.

Wait until Mt Kenya voters realize that the demolitions are being conducted by the Nairobi Rivers Commission, and guess whose office William Ruto put the Nairobi Rivers Commission under? You guessed it right - Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua. Akili mtu wangu.

BREAKING NEWS: UDA MPs in Nairobi have gone into hiding and left their Azimio counterparts to carry the burden of standing with victims of Gov't demolitions on the floor of the House this afternoon. Next time, vote wisely.

Kenya Kwanza MPs refused to meet protestors in front of Parliament Buildings today, because they were still waiting for directions from President William Ruto who is away in South Korea. Won't be long before Mt Kenya voters know where they stand on the Finance Bill 2024.

This is Korogocho MCA Matakwei Mobimba Mwana Mboka (MMMM). Someone tell the DJ to run it from the top.

Everyone is abandoning the Kenya Kwanza sinking ship. At this rate, only Mt Kenya MPs will be stuck with the Finance Bill, because Ruto has got them right inside the penalty area where even Gachagua can't save them. Mungu bariki wengine sasa.

Wangapi wanasema tuanzie hapa bottom tukienda up, yaani bottom-up? Nyinyi ni wangwana sana, salaaale.

They're now pulling old clips saying they're sorry. Things are boiling nicely.

Gachagua's main man in Nairobi has started sending warning shots to Hatupangwingwi FC Kongoi Branch. Mungu bariki wengine sasa.

Hapo kwa PCEA si huyu jamaa amekuja sana?

Rigathi Gachagua celebrated like he had signed for Real Madrid, the day Ruto made him in-charge of Mt Kenya agricultural issues, not knowing he was being set up - and now everyone can't wait to hear his voice on the Muguka ban. Things are boiling nicely.

Gachagua's dogs of war are out. Things are boiling nicely.

NTV have also decided they will no longer massage the donkey down the Mt Kenya slopes anymore. Rigathi Gachagua is about to discover why chicken urinate via cloaca. Someone tell the driver to alight me here.

Asubuhi na mapema. Mungu bariki wengine sasa.

Maximilian Beier. Remember the name.

As Rigathi Gachagua is wondering where his next chopper ride will come from, Raila Odinga's cavalry are in the United Kingdom to preside over the installation of the first Black Mayor in Northern Ireland. Mungu bariki wengine sasa.

NEWS JUST IN: Lilian Seenoi Barr, from Oloombokishi village, Narok East Constituency, Narok County, has been sworn in as the first Black Mayor in Northern Ireland, United Kingdom. She will represent Derry City and Strabane District Council. Chama Kubwa.

Things are boiling nicely.

Kenya has more than 90 political parties, but it's only ODM who've activated their Disaster Response Team, led by Senator Sen. Eddy Gicheru Oketch, visiting affected communities and offering relief to flood victims across the country. Team Kubwa.

Oscar Sudi has been busy man-marking Rigathi Gachagua that he forgot to go back to Parliament after the FA Cup Final. Heat map.