Back in Uruk every time the court physician would try to retire I had to just kill them because they knew too much about me & could not be let to live as free men with such knowledge. I gave them honorable deaths but they saw my dick and balls when they were in bad shape you see

They didn't write this down in my legends but when Ishtar came down from her cozy ass yuppie gentrification ass Ebih mountain to propose to me not only did I shoot her down in humanity's first diss track but I also did the tongue touch with Enkidu in front of her to piss her off

I used to play this game with Enkidu where we smacked each other in turn but we would gradually increase the force of the blows. We had to stop doing this because one time I got knocked out for a week after being hit on a broken bone & Uruk was run by an opportunistic advisor

You may ask why I took virgins like that. That is because they would not fucking complain about inane problems that warrant nothing. As if I don't already have the best technique On my dead homie Enkidu I can fuck so good it's just that there is hatred in these vixens

Mosquitos bite me now. This blood is what had some fools fighting in the BC times due to some trite rumors regarding blood transfusions and eternal youth but you feast yourself off of my golden Rhnull AB- blood only for Kirei to fucking swat you with his bare hands

I miss when Enkidu would slowly asphyxiate me to sleep because when it was around winter solstice I'd get bad omens in my nightly visions so much that even the fumes from an entire bag of opium wouldn't be able to give me redress

I went to the festival the mongrels set up & fucking pathetic mongrel kid was unable to fish out a single goldfish she was crying. It was so loud I decided to fish out one to shut that thing up but Golden Rule got my ass depleting the pool. Its parents trying to thank me BEGONE

I'm good at everything that's why they tried to fucking kill me

Oh for fucks sake I got kicked out of a bathhouse for having 'tattoos' On my fallen civilization this is not irezumi mongrel this is literally my skin it's not ink

This earthly forms come with costs so I went to the mongrel urologist but a certain procedure caused something to happen. However no soul shall know. The building and its inhabitants now sleep in Kur

Yeah the Grail gave me knowledge about vaccination but I don't believe in it anyway. Mongrels are letting the weak live and it's nothing but gross miscalculation. To be honest though I heard the faker boy survived the grail mud . Huh. Tough little cookie though vacuous

Many mongrels in my DMs telling me I've been chosen as the ambassador for their brand. Hmph but of course. I didn't respond to a single one of them for they weren't worth my audience but I won't lie the one for jockstraps was tempting for reasons undisclosed to publc

Got handed a flyer for some fuckshit so I blew up that establishment but the mongrels cheered oh okay sure. I learn later it was a cult? Concerning. Why would mongrels dedicate their time to someone else other than me I'd rather you be atheists. like being gay in front of a woman

Fucking shit i just tried to check up on the pathetic wimp of a magus girl I was psychologically tormenting not just for the mission but for schadenfreude but this freakish periwinkle haired woman turned me into stone for like 2 fucking hours I think I have a UTI

I've been pulling out a little bit of kirei' hair every day from his hairline so he has a worse one than mine. Horrific Lustre his dark hair has it's sickeningly thick I keep rubbing my split ends between my fingers hoping for something I'm not aware of