'Every morning, regular as clockwork, foul-tasting brown sausages fall out of my bottom. Who puts them up there and what are they trying to distract me from? 🤔'

Just bumped into your dad. He was in floods of tears. Inconsolable. 'Farts have gone woke,' he blubbed. Told me he'd seen it on Facebook. I watched him stagger in a daze to the old field. Cut his clothes to shreds on the fence, muttering over and over, 'farts have gone woke...'

Long queue for the bogs during intermission at Return of the King, tap on the shoulder, a voice asks 'how deep's your pocket, mate? My willy's about to burst!' I turn around and it's Sid Owen. We meet again at the sinks, where he gives me a lovely big smile and a 'be lucky!'

[seeing a bio without any pussy in it at all] What's the point of this?! Load of rubbish!

You'll not spend a better hour than watching this. Another cracker from my favourite YouTube channel.

Jimmy told Lois what

Some proper nightmare fuel in this one...

The baby puppets in this episode will haunt me to the grave and beyond. Highly recommend.

This is what you should do now, click this and enjoy it

David Warner's character in The Omen: 'in *every* photograph, there's a strange line going straight across the middle of your penis'

Me (trimming the latest issue of my Keeping Up Appearances fanzine in a paper guillotine): 'wow that's crazy, wonder what it means?'

Get it. I was needing this tonight.

I remembered this as being an excellent and exciting series. But thanks to Stuart I now know the truth that 6 year old me didn’t. It was just a load of toffs being chased by a man making stupid bird noises.

Stuart Millard Loved this , absolutely brilliant video again too ….