A few years ago I had an idea for a stage musical based on Father Ted, an idea I felt was equal to and respectful of the enduring affection many held for the residents of Craggy Island’s parochial house. The story touched on themes that seemed big enough for a West End stage.

Max now has 5 poles this season, same as Oscar, 1 more than Lando. #ItalianGP

‘a bit more edge and directness to England’ This team is ranked about 170th, it’s the least you should expect. #ENGAND

Here’s me thinking Lineker was the first black Muslim to play for England. #SRBENG

Who was the arse licker journalist that just signed off from the Tuchel interview with a “thanks Tom”?#SRBENG

Davina just looks all teeth and bones. #TheOneShow

To think we once had the brilliant Tim Lovejoy and the beautiful Helen Chamberlain on match day morning tv. Now we have to suffer this nonsense. #saturdaysocial

Great to hear Bumble once again on Sky cricket, should never have left. Brings more character to the commentary box. #T20FinalsDay

Live Saturday morning football, and there’s no Lucy fucking Ward. #ARSNFO

Great catch from Kohler-Cadmore. Before he grew the tache. #T20FinalsDay

If that’s a foul, Game’s gone. #WHUTOT

That last over review didn’t look like the ball was 51% hitting the stumps. #T20FinalsDay

Unhelpful result for us, but I can’t stand teams at home playing 2 banks of 5, kills the game. Fuck Burnley, fuck Parker. #BURLIV

Slotty time is the new Fergie time. #LIVATM

Shame Gordon didn’t attack the ball in the same manner he attacks Liverpool centre backs. #NEWBAR

Sincere commiserations to anyone watching #MCINAP Putting up with Lucy fucking Ward’s incessant shrieking. I couldn’t take it.

Worried if Newcastle score Ally McCoist will self combust with all the hyperbole he’s emitting. #NEWBAR

Newcastle medical staff have to take responsibility for that. It’s their job to assess if a player is concussed. They failed, and let him play on. #NEWBAR

He’s the type of striker Manchester United need. #NEWBAR

Fucking hell, Rob Edwards is behaving like Boro are already promoted. #MIDWBA