If no one else is gonna say it, I will. Birds do not look like they should be able to go that fast.

Brooo, I cannot wait to try it these!!!

girl that likes me: Goodnight my sweet angel, I will miss you so much, I can't wait to talk to you tomorrow 💕🌹☺️ Zero Sugar Barq's Root Beer: whats u9p

ever since I took my tongue ring out, people have stopped asking me if I’m a lesbian entirely

fuck a work husband, if I found out she got a work tickle monster imma blow the whole place up

nooo babe I actually love how you shitpost instead of finding actual healthy coping mechanisms for your feelings of inadequacy

i promise you that your soul mate is a twitch streamer

Scientists believe they may have discovered the 5th hole and it’s not what you might think… Click the link below to learn more

being the 1000th guy in Bonnie Blue’s fuckathon must have been electric. Clean up hitter, bottom of the 9th, bases are loaded. There’s nothing left in that room but you, Bonnie, and love for the game. Swing for the fences

me and the boys are going to watch the eyes of strangers soften as we smile and say hello later if you wanna come

i now have it set up that any time someone likes one of my tweets the device vibrates

oh no… I’m all out…

I need a girl with a libido so high that her pussy got two health bars

unethically non monogamist #icheat

autistic guy who doesn't go down on chicks, not because of the taste but because its a texture thing

is 30 still a good age to get a few tattoos and to get involved in a situationship?

well… I guess there’s always next year?

ok i'll fucking say it, silksong's downward slash fucking sucks so fucking bad