The first thing I bought for my son when I found out I was pregnant was the exact same #hulkhogan teddy I have had every day of my life since I was born. This bear has been with me through everything and his current state is immortalized on my forearm.

“What does matter is the size of your heart and the strength of your character” Herman Munster

Humans of Sausalito. A thread. Bereck with a B. Met his wife at this bar 40+ years ago. Beatles and Camels super fan. Wants to talk at you, not with you. Wears sunglasses inside at 11 p.m. and pulls it off.

Was never in to Twilight but lately the idea of someone wanting to drink my blood as a sign of devotion is very appealing.

I get the same itchy feeling stopping myself from helping my toddler do a puzzle, that I get when my parents are trying to do things on their cell phones.

To the United Airlines pilot who, when my son was jumping on the jet bridge in excitement, felt it was ok to grab his arm firmly and tell him he was making too much noise: He was getting his sillies out before the flight. Do not put your hands on my child. Do not reprimand my child.

“You look like a Nickelodeon drug dealer” will forever be the funniest, most accurate description of my style.

Falling in love with my home one sleepless night at a time.

My son fell asleep on the drive to the Giants game tonight. Apologies in advance to those around us.

Those Su-hu-mer Niiiiii-hiiiiiights.

Neil Diamond and ABBA cover bands in one weekend. Let’s. Fucking. Go.

Tell me you just did first day of TK drop off without telling me you just did first day of TK drop off.

It’s good to be home. #FTTB

Kill ‘em with kindness.

OH MY GOD THE DWTS CAST IS AMAZING.

I just met the cutest husky named David Bowie and I genuinely dont know how I'm supposed to love any dog ever again.

Yeah, you plead just to know you’re alive.

BANG BANG BABY. Let’s f-ing go boys! #FTTB

Find a tattoo cooler than this. I don’t care if you can.

B.E.C. on a scooped out everything with a side of drizzle on the streets of Brooklyn.