Don’t forget to steal someone else’s tweet today for no reason at all.

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

The chihuahua decided I should be up so she could sleep on the couch beside me instead of in the bed with me.

Of all the things I’ve lost as I’ve gotten older the ability to sleep all night without waking up is probably the most missed.

Ever meet someone that knows so much they know nothing at all?

Good morning

Neurotypical is overrated.

Be wary of underestimating an enemy or overestimating a friendship.

You know, I’ve reached that point in life where a lot more things piss me off than bring me peace and that’s a shame really.

Never underestimate the joy of having nothing to do and someone to do it with.

Deserve is a word like a double edged sword.

Like so many here the meanest thing about my dog is its owner.

Why do the people making content act like they’re getting paid by the word? More to the point please.

I need a new day between Sunday and Monday to recover from the weekend.

If Twitter had an HOA my account would have been seized and auctioned years ago.

Good doesn’t understand evil.

I’m a procrastinator, not an amateurcrastinator.

I actually liked Boyd Crowder until he started doing those stupid Walmart commercials. Brother, you’re better than this.

Heard this thing and think I'm just going to go around using it like it's the 2025 "Talk to the Hand" shutdown. I think this'll work out great! The thing I heard... "I don't receive that energy." *she says emphatically and walks away*

I miss Nextel direct connect.