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Guys taking their sex dolls to get an abortion. x.com/GlobeEyeNews/s…

Not sure why Cracker Barrel got rid of the cracker & barrel from their logo. More restaurants should have what they're known for on their logos. Denny's logo could be a guy trying to sober up. Waffle House's logo should just be a boxing ring.

It took hours of negotiation, but finally Hitler agreed to shoot himself in the face. x.com/clashreport/st…

White women in Starbucks pouring Pumpkin Lattes on eachother like they just won't a championship. x.com/PopCrave/statu…

This motherfucker left behind a series of clues in his tweets like a Knives Out movie. x.com/charliekirk11/…

Man, if you thought Charlie Kirk was pro-life before...

Everyone talking about how they've been radicalized this week. Bitch, these dudes radicalized me when I was 6. Been radical ever since.

Tyreek Hill's wife knowing he's gonna be home for a while after the injury.

Not sure if this courtroom sketch is Diddy crying, or sniffing his lawyer's chair.

Every wall of the maze that's on the back of the kid's menu. x.com/HaterReport_/s…

DC’s Absolute Fork

[Mike Evans so concussed he floats to the sideline like a cartoon mouse that smells cheese] Troy Aikman: "Tough to say what's wrong with him."

Im dressing up as the Government Shut Down for Halloween. I'm telling kids I don't have any candy. Meanwhile, my front door and windows are open so they see me eating full-sized Butterfingers.

This shouldn’t even be a hot take. No sane person is choosing turkey over ham because it tastes better. Turkey just got cast as the face of Thanksgiving so we all sit there chewing through dry bird like it’s a tradition instead of an obligation

Nintendo will only make family friendly games, but put out these fuzzy foot pussies. x.com/videogamedeals…

I'd describe this as 'please daddy, not the stick!' speed. x.com/NFL_DovKleiman…

Now knowing anyone on this list makes me confused and angry. It's like I got a free trial of dementia. x.com/PopBase/status…

🎶Frosty the Snowman was alive as he could be. The kids' lives were hard, but he sent birthday cards to his secret families.🎶 x.com/i/status/19962…