Matt Fernandez (@fattmernandez) 's Twitter Profile
Matt Fernandez

@fattmernandez

Comedian/writer - 1 hr Special on Amazon: a.co/d/aKhlPxe
Wrote for Playboy & College Humor - Tweets featured on Ellen & Kimmel - IG: @mattfernandezworld

ID: 123905976

linkhttp://www.mattfernandezworld.com/ calendar_today17-03-2010 15:50:35

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Matt Fernandez (@fattmernandez) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Not sure why Cracker Barrel got rid of the cracker & barrel from their logo. More restaurants should have what they're known for on their logos. Denny's logo could be a guy trying to sober up. Waffle House's logo should just be a boxing ring.

Matt Fernandez (@fattmernandez) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Everyone talking about how they've been radicalized this week. Bitch, these dudes radicalized me when I was 6. Been radical ever since.

Everyone talking about how they've been radicalized this week. Bitch, these dudes radicalized me when I was 6. Been radical ever since.
Matt Fernandez (@fattmernandez) 's Twitter Profile Photo

[Mike Evans so concussed he floats to the sideline like a cartoon mouse that smells cheese] Troy Aikman: "Tough to say what's wrong with him."

[Mike Evans so concussed he floats to the sideline like a cartoon mouse that smells cheese]

Troy Aikman: "Tough to say what's wrong with him."
Matt Fernandez (@fattmernandez) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Im dressing up as the Government Shut Down for Halloween. I'm telling kids I don't have any candy. Meanwhile, my front door and windows are open so they see me eating full-sized Butterfingers.

Woody (@woodyvsworld) 's Twitter Profile Photo

This shouldn’t even be a hot take. No sane person is choosing turkey over ham because it tastes better. Turkey just got cast as the face of Thanksgiving so we all sit there chewing through dry bird like it’s a tradition instead of an obligation

Matt Fernandez (@fattmernandez) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Now knowing anyone on this list makes me confused and angry. It's like I got a free trial of dementia. x.com/PopBase/status…

Matt Fernandez (@fattmernandez) 's Twitter Profile Photo

🎶Frosty the Snowman was alive as he could be. The kids' lives were hard, but he sent birthday cards to his secret families.🎶 x.com/i/status/19962…