Best cure for hangovers is lots of whiskey.

Can you imagine Nietzsche roasting Justin Bieber?

Yes, I am religious. I believe in nihilism.

My stress is stressing me out.

April. Full of jokes. Full of fools.

How to be happy on Monday?

Kant < Nein.

Things I love: a) Naps b) Whiskey c) a and b

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Blood type: whiskey.

The only thing worse than thinking you're right and finding out you were wrong is finding out you were right but wishing you were wrong.

Putin vs Ukraine. And Nein. vs Hegel.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Don't follow your heart. It's stupid.

Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Anyone else notice that as you get older your balls get smaller?

Can I retweet you?

I wish I could wear sunglasses 24/7. For many reasons.

A human. Being.

Cancel your plans. Read my tweets.

Save water, drink whiskey.