A friend is losing her shit because her bio dad, whom she hasn't spoken to in years, told her he's trans. I can't help her because I don't understand why she's so hurt. She keeps saying it's so selfish of him, but I just don't agree.

Take any and all advice your cat gives you.

Can you please leave me alone / talk to me

I'm learning there isn't really any scarcity of love or happiness. If your neighbor is succeeding, that's proof you can too. There's no need to be jealous.

Remember, you can disappear into the woods whenever you want. You’re an adult.

I don't think we're here to make each other comfortable. We're here to make each other better.

Maybe a new tattoo will help me get my shit together...

I know I haven't completely given up because I still don't think Pepsi is ok.

flights of fantasy are all I have time for

Me after me eat cookie:

Back on twitter cuz this is important

I'm a finalist in Foot of the Mountain Motel's photo contest - help me rally votes: flip.to/r/ug9m Foot of the Mountain

People complaining about the halftime show don't realize they're just really horny. We should tell them.

I felt that look my cat just gave me as I took out his litter. Equal parts "she found my stash!" and "I know nothing about that"

Spanish: The h is silent English: Many letters can be silent French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason

Jesus: *picks up bread* this is my body Jesus: *picks up wine* this is my blood Jesus: *picks up eggplant* i think we allll know what this is lol yea