paddington bear is going to kill and eat ted cruz

lol

paddington bear is going to attack elon musk physically

paddington bear is offering to buy twitter for a marmalade sandwich and a ball of lint, which is frankly more than it’s worth

paddington bear is dating pete davidson

paddington bear has been fired from twitter for viciously mauling elon musk

paddington bear is locked inside the twitter office. he's running out of air

paddington bear is singlehandedly keeping twitter running by furiously peddling on a stationary bike hooked up to the servers. but he’s starting to get tired…

paddington bear has been elected speaker of the house

paddington bear just invented a new racial slur

paddington bear has contracted the woke mind virus. he is in the ICU

paddington has been indicted

🇵🇸

we are deploying paddington to gaza

ah fuck. paddington bear just got rabies

paddington bear just walked into the room breathing really heavy and said "i did it"