That new thing on the Spotify is missing an important voice. It should be Bono, Barack, and The Boss.

Top of the mornin' to yis! And happy birthday to me! What did you get me this year, punters?

What do you think punters? I love listening to me sing! ❤️

Truly the greatest Christmas present of all.

All is quiet.

Hey punters, when I say I hate my voice and hate our songs that's just a fool's modesty.. Just between us? I LOVE MY VOICE AND MY SONGS. I LOVE ME!!

I'm sure Mary, Dre, Snoop, Marshall, and Kendrick will be fookin' brilliant but never forget the 🐐. #HalfTimeShow #SuperBowl

Jaysis, The Edge. And people say my handwriting is shite?

If Edge catches fire, and I figure out rock and roll's place in the 2020s, and we make a couple more uncompromising, transcendent, balls to the wall albums that are properly aggressive as the times deserve, we can catch Beyoncé! #GRAMMYs

omg finally !!!

Anyone have exciting plans this weekend? #U2Sphere

Not as much as I've missed you, honey child.

Has anyone seen my fly shades? #U2UVSphere

Edge just now: "How many people does this thing hold?" Larry: "A lot more if not for Bono's big head." 🙄

Chris Martin is a dick for texting me this

Feck. Why didn't we think of this?