Now selling spotlights for “underlit” examinees!

We are password farmers, bum buh bum buh bum bum bum

I know y’all’re doing your darndest to discredit the bar exam, but we encourage you to focus on your studies. Rest assured, BOLEs are working very hard to destroy all credibility.

Super Scientific Bar Exam Omnibus Survey—Which of the following options would you favor to deal with the challenges brought on by the Coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak?

Don’t throw away your umbrella in a rainstorm because you aren’t getting wet. Don’t throw away your mask in a pandemic because you aren’t getting sick. Don’t throw away your computer in a high-stakes test because we broke it. Now I know my RBGs. Next time won’t you sing with me.

Your brain on bar exams. Kids, just say no.

We suck. Everyone failed you. We’re so sorry. None of you deserve this. #DiplomaPrivilegeNow is the only equitable solution.

Live footage of ExamSoft servers

If you thought the MBE was more difficult/confusing, you’re not wrong. People were decrypting exam files, so Judy had to stay up all weekend rewriting questions. She’s the real hero of this #barpocalypse

“It is what it is.” -Judy Gundertrump

Judy acts surprised that her rules left examinees no choice but to urinate on themselves during the test. But Judy’s just afraid you’ll find her #peepeetape. We’d leak it, but her proctoring files are taking forever to upload.

It’d be a real shame if law schools boycotted our software because of how we treated bar examinees.

Wait. We got SOLD?! WTF IS HAPPENING?!?!

Test. Grift. Repeat.

Uh oh

ExamSoft is partnering with Zoom to implement the “your mic is off” feature across the legal profession. Beginning in 2021, any attorney who forgets to unmute, loses audio connection, or has the wrong computer will be immediately disbarred. Thank you.

In light of internal testing indicating that Candy Crush tests minimum competence better than NCBE’s video game bar exam, we will discontinue NCBE’s test and adopt mobile gaming app alternatives for examinees. It’s all a game.

We’re testing everyone!! AI AI EVERYWHERE!!! Bars, cars, you name it!!!

The carbon footprint for our AI surveillance machine is epic AF

ExamSofty Statement: While technical modifications could have fixed the many errors of our ways, we decided to rely solely upon that third-time-charm. It did not happen. We are so sorry. We take full responsibility for our incompetence, and we hope the NCBE and BOLEs do the same.