This guy is making out with his food while I’m trying to work. Brother, I can hear you from 25 yards away.

Dear Lidl US My name is Bean. I eat peanut butter and jelly English muffins for three meals a day. Back in February, my mom bought 72 jars of your peanut butter when it was on sale for 78 cents a jar. I numbered each jar.

No matter how much I change, some things will never change. Proven fact.

i🖤anime

If I told you that the house can’t handle another dog, why the fuck would you get another dog?!?now I have to be the asshole to make you get rid of him.

I would wish you the best, but you already had it.

If you can’t handle a Pitt then don’t get a Pitt. My Half Wolf does just fine at the dog park. It’s not the breed. It’s the owners.

It’s honestly pathetic that people can’t just grow up.

Great minds think alike, but stupid minds also think alike. Never underestimate the power of stupid in large amounts.

Dear future wife, If you can’t push me to me a better me, then there’s no point in us being a we. P.s. don’t be mad when I push you to be the best you because I know you can.

Why I don’t “shoot my shot” -I feel like im annoying -98% of the time I get shot down -I’m a 4/10 -it normally turns awkward -not really anyones type -y’all already have someone else in mind.

July 19, 2019. #TheLionKing

Life is a series of moments, enjoy them all.

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Dear white people: It’s ok to be white. Don’t ever be shamed into thinking that you are the enemy. Don’t let the media bully and persecute you. I was never a slave and you were never slave owners. We’re all Americans - free Americans!

🎄Day 2 - 25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS🎄 (Cont.) As mentioned, we're working with some incredible partners for our Giveaway. First, we have... RuneScape! To enter DAY 3: Like Retweet Follow GTOmega & Runescape on Twitter Good luck! 🎅 #Giveaway #Christmas #runescape

In 2019, we picked up 105+ tons of trash in Baltimore, Chicago, Houston, & Los Angeles. Here is a list of cities I’ll be cleaning up in 2020: -Detroit -Milwaukee -Philadelphia -Pittsburgh -Portland -San Francisco #NewYearsDay

I’m going to give 5 people that retweet this tweet $10,000 each to celebrate Christmas! (Make sure you follow me so I can dm you if you win!). I will show proof!