Patrick Mahomes says “I still have belt marks on my ass” from the Eagles Super Bowl 59 beatdown. (via "The Kingdom" Doc on ESPN)

Remember folks, ICE is for men who were too dumb to become cops

Millennial retirement planning

Hey guys remember this?

MY HEART

Elephants are born weighing 250 lbs. They are the biggest babies on earth except for the people mad about male cheerleaders in the NFL.

continuing to die on the hill that this film is a banger - Ridley Scott doing Hammer Horror & Paradise Lost/Frankenstein in space.

THIS is how you handle federal agents who show up at your door to violate your constitutional rights. Bravo to this man.

stupid thing about growing up

in the interest of pissing literally everybody off even more, i present to you a new cracker barrel logo in "corporate memphis" style

i am going to die alone

Everyone treats the President like an insecure toddler with a bad temper

meanwhile

this and a small town where somethings not right

I need to sit by the ocean and disassociate for like three days

he tried so hard

it's so fucking cool that this is someones 9-5, damn. #AlienEarth

We pray for your administration to spend less time painting border fences and targeting political enemies and more time on actual threats. We pray for a vice president who doesn't spend his days hunting for ways to feel like a victim on social media like a truffle pig.

“taylor’s engaged!!” they shout into the void. the whales do not answer, for they do not understand and would not care if they did