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I'm on a sea cucumber diet- I see cucumbers, I eat a sea cucumber

Type of stuff Thom Yorke will be doing on stage

Guy who watched Conclave excited to use new found expertise

Guy who hates Taylor swift but only because he's an eagles fan

NOBODY LET JD VANCE MEET BOB DYLAN

*Borat voice* Great succession! That's my Borat impression if he watched succession and he liked it. Just workshopping some new material hope u guys like it haha

My boy eric just texted me and said he got the job. He moves into the Vatican tomorrow

Just invented this

This weather got me googling rambunctiously

Guy named Waluigi who goes around defending CEOs

Me when the imposter syndrome starts hitting on the way home from work

Didn't these guys write Heaven or Las Vegas

One could argue that they should be called a kilopede instead of a millipede but unfortunately would be a much scarier name

Bad day to be a fish worse day to be a beer

I find the 'blue' flavored Gatorade to be quite pedestrian in a world where Aubergine is clearly its superior

Dog with road rage: Lights not getting any greyer buddy!!

At Home Depot I find myself wondering.. what's the latest in fridge technology- and off to the fridge section I wander

My airplane has the eyeliner on okay girl get it!

Me and the French toddler next to me on the plane

What's next?? Six gum? Gimme a break