At this point, I don't know where the coffee stops and my personality begins.

Make your vacation, your vocation.

Scientists have again landed a spacecraft on a proverbial dime on a planet 40 million miles away that rotates at 241 metres per second. Think I'm gonna trust them on this climate change stuff.

How can I make this conversation about me?

If I had more time I'd write a shorter email.

Not today.

All shoes should be slippers.

What I say: I take the good with the bad. What I mean: I'm violently lactose intolerant with a cereal addiction.

What's the worse that could happen? We'll all die and no one will remember us?

gravy grave

It's too early to stop drinking.

Illusions of adequacy

Instead of 'micro homes', Imma call them 'millennial mansions'.

When I'm dictator Lactaid would be subsidized.

No house music until Canadians can afford houses.

Two weeks notice: In two weeks, you will notice that I haven't been in for two weeks.

Better to live in ignorance than to die in heresy.

I'm the best in the world at something hardly anyone else does.