Yeah I know. I'm a little odd looking. But I can't let that sort of thing slow me down.

I've never been overly impressed by bodices or swashbuckling.

My yoga teacher tonight tried to say "start feeling"- and said "fart stealing".

It's Eat, Pray. Love. In that order. An it's Pray, not Prey, dumdum. Sheesh. #cannibalcop

If you ask someone out and they say no, save face by saying you were just kidding. make them feel stupid for thinking you'd really ask them.

Everyone remember to stock up on paper porn in case the internet goes out! #hurricanesandy #yourewelcome!

@waynewilcox was amazing in #Chaplin! Elise Castle was a delightful theater companion.

Of I ever am important enough to get interviewed on TV, I hope I'm a big enough asshole to wear mirrored sunglasses the entire time. #minaj

@waynewilcox will I smoke on camera?! Honey you can't stop me from it. I'm on fire!! (falls asleep in ashtray).

I dont think I'd enjoy meeting Barbra Streisand. Maybe when I was younger. Or if I was older. Or if she wasn't so "her".

I'm really hot and cold with twitter. Very "push me-pull me" sometimes I like you and most times I hate you. Guys: it's love! Sigh

Um... Okay Nevermind. Well okay, I like an ashlee Simpson song. Just when I thought I was growing up.

I'm not sure how to pronounce "Panettiere".

I wish I lived in Denver. Then I'd be home already. #layovers

I've moved! Write me: Eric Bernat c/o The Denver Airport Denver, CO #layovers #delays #weather

Hate when you almost bump into someone, innocently, and they back way up with their up like you're a dangerous tornado. #cunts #i

@ChristopherRYee Hiiyeeeeeee!

@boomboomhiller @jackieclarke @jfly99 baby angel was so sad that model chickened out of the performance piece runway walk! Missyouguys!!

@jackieclarke baby angel @jfly99 @boomboomhiller Nothing!!! It's all Michael Kors xtra large!!!