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me [reading a book]: why are you not impressed this is like magic for you groknag the caveman: me read in new cave times that it derivative and trite me: …well you’re just made up for a joke. when someone finishes reading it you’ll cease to exist groknag: me not want die

ME: My baby is choking! Is anyone here CPR trained? ZILLENNIAL: I'm a former gifted kid. ELDER MILLENNIAL: If he dies it's Reagan's fault. VINCE GILLIGAN: I wanted to turn Mister Chips into Scarface

LT8304 Micropower No-Opto Isolated Flyback Converter with 150V/2A Switch

staring the starbucks barista dead in the eye as i open my coffee and pour in an entire bottle of creamy vanilla flavour barium sulfate

Child raised by wolves: awoooo. anyone else here lowkey resent civilisation. Child raised by pinguins: ima da pinguin. im crazy.

Long day..

there should be a grindr for women who enjoy walking around and playing toys

the worst part about liking hypercompetent lesbians with unhealthy work ethics is that you eventually run out of hypercompetent lesbians with unhealthy work ethics

i like to get fucked doggystyle and pretend my boobs are the taipei 101 mass dampener

deciding if i want to take my stimulants today by asking myself "what would saul goodman do"

Liddleware/Mogging

he would gaslight a family relative. i should get onto doing that they all got it coming anyways might as well be the one doing it

im too old for this

i want this shit GONE