☣ ☠ ☢ (@zombot) 's Twitter Profile
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@zombot

I share the same birthday as Twitter— the calendar date, not the year

ID: 17857839

calendar_today04-12-2008 02:56:03

58,58K Tweet

1,1K Followers

617 Following

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If I had a billion dollars I would occasionally buy a million* dollars' worth of lottery tickets, not in the hopes of winning, but just to see lottery billboards bump up a million at a time. (*0.1% of 1 billion)

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If, by "bright-eyed" you mean "eyes wide open, darting left and right," and by "bushy-tailed" you mean "hairs standing on end," then yes, yes I am full of anxiety.

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"POOL PARTY HELD ON PRIVATE PROPERTY – ALL PUBLIC INVITED – CLOTHING OPTIONAL WIDE VARIETY OF FREE FOOD AND ALCOHOL BEVERAGES AVAILABLE THIS IS A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT TO BENEFIT HUMANITY YOU WILL BE UNDER SURVEILLANCE PLEASE ACT AND ENJOY YOURSELVES AS YOU NORMALLY WOULD"

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OK tell me if I’m way out of line. The autism community should have claimed the rainbow flag as its symbol before the LGBTQIA+ community, and I can sum it up in one word: Spectrum.

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So maybe Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Crust pizza slices are limp and soggy. Know what to do? Roll it up like a pennant flag and deep throat that badboy. You know you want to.

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I was born in the '70s. I haven't been carded in a while. I haven't been called "old" yet, but… I also don't hang around many younger people.

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Who else never realized that the ⭕️, ❌, 🔺 & 🟥 buttons on a Playstation controller are numbers one to four because that's how many strokes it takes to draw them?

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I figured it out. The answer is the chicken. Why? Because you never say "the egg or the chicken." It comes first in the dictionary and in the question.

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It's International Women's Day. Women in all other nations of the world, rejoice and celebrate. But all you domestic bitches can fuck right off.

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I'm really hoping my dying words are something cool or inspiring like "freedom" or "I see God" and not "heh that's funny, it almost looks like the road ends right here"