I want him to tally the votes for the whole country

STOP THE GD CAR RIGHT NOW

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny

Airdropping this to my neighbors dog

smokin the darts that blow your shit clean off

Oh fucking brother here we go

You still got time ... Use it Wisely

Actually an incredible bit that I will be stealing

dude we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up

‘pick you up at 8? I’ll be the guy on the omnidirectional ball motorcycle that balances laterally like a Segway and moves in any direction’

Did you know Taco Bell has a 20 dollar meal for 4 and you don't even have to have 4 people. You can just eat all of it.

Aang: I will use my airbending! Katara: And I will use my waterbending! Toph: I'll crush them with a rock! Sokka:

In a hundred or a thousand years' time, historians will be unable to say for certain what JD Vance actually looked like.

Love the idea of a group of Russians seeing this coming towards them at 30 mph and being like oh we’re fine it’s just a house

Children of divorce telling you about their dad’s house

check on your white boys today