The Golden Globes was 3 days ago? Literally nobody cares.

As a pass time, I like to mess with my kids by making outlandish threats. "Boy if you don't listen, I'll be forced to rip off your butt cheeks". #dadlife

Freedom isn't selfish, stop saying it is.

One time while my son was in feety pajamas, he zipped his peepee up real bad. Now do to the posttraumatic stress from that injury, he has flash backs everytime he sees a zipper. "Dadda, please don't zip my peepee". "Buddy this is a jacket. I think its safe"

When did other people start doing legs on Monday? Get off my racks.

"A leader is one who knows the way goes the way and shows the way." -random dog video I saw online

While my wife breast feeds my youngest, my middle toddler gave a period of instruction to the class "Hezeki has 1 boob but we have 2 boobs in our house, there are 2 boobs" #PSA

Its not societies fault if I fail. I'm not a product of circumstance, I'm a product of grace.

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