Get you a wife who knows something’s up before you do #iDo

Mental gymnastics should be the next Olympic game - Another Gold for the USA

You’re so far off the mark, 🤦🏽‍♂️ #LoudProudMorons

Rules for thee, not for me

Throughout my life there’s been lots of ups and downs and uncertainty in what tomorrow brings. But there has always been and realistically always will be the constant of the New York Mets disappointing beginning, middle, and/or end to their season. #LGM

Words have meaning. You don’t just defer redefine them at your pleasure #HookedOnPhonics

Don’t fight so hard for mediocrity #BeGreat

Lilah thinks her parents names are Mommy and Where’s Mommy #GirlDAD

'Hall of Fames' have become a total joke #NotTheBestOfTheBest

Hot take: subjectively judged events have no place in the Olympics #ProveMeWrong

I wish I knew someone who could explain the intricacies of curling #ElectricTelevision #WhyTheyDidThat

When the boys get excited about a great deal on olive oil #Adulting

Great end to a great Olympics. Good lead into #LA2028 where team USA will win all 351 gold medals #Winning

Baking Cookies plays by Price is Right rules - it's ok to go under, but don't ever go over

Normalize telling stupid people to STFU #Morons

Can we go back to the days when every reel didn’t have a 2 minute commentary #Unstitch

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

Tough year to be a Canadian Hockey Fan Team USA #Winning

This is pay back for Canada poisoning the minds of the children of South Park #BlameCanada

Weak mind is the weakest thing you could have