Kinda weird to write this, but: House Republicans just voted to defund D.C. police and schools. A federal spending bill to prevent a government shutdown could force the city to cut $1.1 billion out of its $21 billion budget, and no one really knows why. Link in next tweet.

Preppy folks when they goto Jimmy Valentines

"no one has died" because of feeding USAID to the woodchipper, Elon claimed. In this devastating piece the NYT went out and learned some of their names and stories:

Nope. Not ready for this glorification of treason.

emmylou diamond phillips Keep your secrets, Tuskegee Town Herald

In total, 36 people were hospitalized and one person has died. fox5dc.com/news/deadly-e-…

This is Percy. Sometimes his ears dip in his water bowl, but that’s okay. 12/10 would hold them back for him

This is Blue. He learned to point at his treats so he can let his family know when he wants one. May or may not be abusing his new power. 13/10

Petition to revive the “Pommel Horse Guy” news cycle

I figured out how to your man/woman about BTS to sports lovers…Tell them it’s like the Dallas Cowboys winning the Super Bowl every year lol trust me they will understand now lmao

Did I call this a year ago? Yeah the fuck I did. Also, anyone got any leads on jobs outside of the U.S.? Legit ANYWHERE instagram.com/reel/DKiYGRGxv…

i cant believe he looks like that

Does it irk anybody else that the Red Sox don’t wear red socks? #PissYellowWTF

What up Twitter! It’s me, ya (not)boi who wrote a story about a fascist US. Y’all didn’t want it in the 1st #Trump presidency…but now that it’s happening, who wants to rep my book? Deets: 1 spy, 1 gal, 1 mind-control chip. Add gov agents/PTSD & this meet just got a lot less cute

Rainbow over Capitol Hill. Capital Weather Gang

This is Chester. He dramatically slides down the stairs every morning. Just because he has woken up doesn't mean his legs have. 13/10

When a straight woman says she prefers the strong, silent type, it’s because every time a man opens his mouth around her it’s to say something sexist and/or sexual.