I skipped the whole experimenting with alcohol thing in college so I'm just now discovering my drunk personality. apologies for the recent mixed quality of my postings.

finally having a good day on my trip because instead of laying in bed due to a poor immune system I'm laying in bed due to poor choices with alcohol.

I've been on bupropion for more than five years and I still read it like its a pokemon in the pokerap. "Bupropion, Wartortle, Mewtwo, tentacool, aerodactyl"

I want to get into bathing in the blood of my enemies. Does anyone have any tips for making enemies?

this is my 1000th post on this account. When I made this account three and a half years I didn't think anyone cared what I had to say, now I regularly get nearly a dozen likes on my posts and also kinda know some of you people. what a crazy few years.

oh you think what I said yesterday was funny? yeah I guess if you have an unsophisticated sense of humor it was ok. I've grown a lot since then. I'm actually working on something very promising in pizza puns now.

trying to flirt: "oh wow it's so cool you're willing to be so socially transgressive. It's kind of sexy for a girl to know what she wants and not let what other people think stop her. And really, it sounds like all those neighborhood cats absolutely had it coming."

could someone loan me some power so I can go mad with it? I promise I'll probably give it back after.

hey Grok put my twitter handle in a list ten times. I feel left out.

hey Grok who are my 10 hottest mutuals. In terms of body temperature. we need to quarantine the hottest before the fever spreads. this is a matter of public safety.

before you interfere with 10^40 universes made of shrimp you should consider the odds that you just happen to be in the one that isn't. It's much much more likely that physics just hasn't advanced to the point where we can detect the fundamental shrimp of which we're composed.

you can always rely on me to accept your cookies. I would never turn down tracking and I'm insulted you felt the need to ask.

it's so hard to find that sweet spot where you're mentally ill enough to make good tweets but not mentally ill enough that you look back at what you said in horror afterward