every one please turn your phones to airplane mode when I enter the room or my neuralink will go haywire and ill bust in my jeans thank you

BREAKING: The UN General Assembly has just overwhelmingly voted in favour of Palestine’s bid to become a full member of the UN. 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

🎯🎯🎯

Just accidentally paid 80 dollars for a premium chess dot com account I’m gonna scream.

Existence since like 2017 is thinking something is completely asinine, and shouting it from the rooftops. Only to find out it’s completely true, you were right all along, then it just gets swept under the rug anyway..

Just so you guys know Nick shoulders is not on touch tunes

30 in a couple months

It’s always so fucking depressing looking for apartments.

More like Harrison Buttlicker

You are currently president

Good thread :)

Whenever you open a social media app scroll then get bored and close it out only to immediately reopen it and start scrolling again means that capitalism won

What’s the point of a fuckin car appointment if you still have to wait 3 hours for them to get to your car???

I want him to tally the votes for the whole country

sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy

They’re Selling Chocolates by wafalo