Stig went to Cambridge of course...

#massivewasteoftime

A good day to bury bad news...

Rooney is looking forward to working with Cocu at Derby County from January... I bet Cocu will be sacked before Christmas...

I hate that Deliveroo TV advert so much

• Jose Mourinho’s points-per-game ratio at Manchester United: 1.89 • Mauricio Pochettino’s points-per-game ratio at Tottenham: 1.89

In other news, this season's Premier League title will be shared between the top four teams #collective #unity

This is anti-British drivel of a high order. Was any of the licence fee used to produce something purely designed to demean us?

Bono is 60 today. I was going to buy him a present but I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

Not Going Out, the ideal TV programme for lockdown

If you’re missing Dad’s Army on a Saturday evening on BBC Two give this post a retweet #RT #BringBackDadsArmy #WeLoveDadsArmy

Snow Leopard is Gloria Hunniford? #MaskedSingerUK

Bagpipes is Jon Culshaw? #MaskedSingerUK

All emails tomorrow: “Hope you had a good Christmas and new year! Sorry I missed your email in December…”

Panda is Denise Van Outen? #maskedsingeruk

Poodle is Tom Chaplin from Keane? #MaskedSingerUK

Good morning Southeastern the ticket machine on Platform 1 at FNR isn't working. It wasn't last week either so reporting in case you weren't already aware. The ticket office isn't open either

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Hi Semra Hunter I've really enjoyed your coverage of the Madrid derby tonight, looking forward to the next La Liga match on ITV