Just apprehended a suspicious looking squirrel for lifting a bag of cashew nuts from Rootes Grocery store. Stay tuned for more updates throughout the night!

Whilst perched on the roof of the humanities building I witnessed my arch nemesis, a band known only as the collective bundle a poor defenceless kitten into the back of a van. I am now flying in pursuit of the vehicle and should apprehend them before the Koan!

The van has been apprehend and sold to my mate for scrap metal. But crime never sleep and I must now go rescue a fresher who is stuck in a tree!

Just off to investigate a noise complaint that has been sent to me via carrier pigeon. It simply says 'Bluebell is loud fam', do if you are in Bluebell and loud then I am coming for you!

Just stopped a plane from crashing into campus. You're welcome.

To top the night off, I am to be honored as an honoury graduate of Media Studies, as unbenownst to me I saved Rolf the University of Warwick Campus Cat earlier from the collective. God save our gracious Rolf.

Tonight I found an ant-man trying to shrink the koan and sell it on eBay. He has now been stopped and taken to my own private jail nest! #nesting

Christmas is a very quite time of year on Warwick campus but fair not, I am here to protect your belongings from thieves... Expect whitefields because doubt they own anything expensive!

Can confirm I will be special guesting at this event and serving as Head of Security. Use promo code #gooseman19 at the checkout for 20% off and a chance to win a meet n greet

After two years of protecting Warwick University campus I can reveal that my secret civilian identity is @adamblunden

The Warwick Goose has uncovered exclusive footage of 'One Hell Of A Party'