#TrumpKillsUSPS

Tobacco Road basketball is mythic no matter what way it goes. Also, fuck Duke. #MarchMadness2022

In NC, basketball is a spiritual force, a majestic texture enveloping everyone. Also, fuck Duke. #MarchMadness2022

Tobacco Road basketball in the Final Four is all about legend, lore, and sportsmanship. What I’m saying is, fuck Duke. #MarchMadness2022

more men in the south should tuck their t-shirts into their pants. a lot do, and that's wonderful, but more should adopt that hot look. how do the women even resist?

When I recorded my fifth great album, Tow Trucks and Tugboats, it was met with critical resistance. But I told them all to go fuck themselves. #CriticsSuck

Vive la France!

Hi, I'm the Lincoln Lawyer on Netflix. I play with Lincoln Logs. Behold, I just made a stockade wall.

Look, I'm Rand Paul's vagina and I say Rand is a man with a glorious purpose: he supports Putin. It's pretty fucking simple.

Rand Paul hates all life forms on Earth except himself. It's true. Also, Putin is not really hated because Rand gets a big boost from that a-hole.

One time I was toying around with ethics and morality in these silly college classes and I found out that Rand Paul is a traitor to our country and so is all of MAGA at this point they're just too stupid to know it.

Saul and Kim bang like crazed animals if/when Lalo leaves. #BettercallsaulDay I'm not wrong.

JD Vance is a vacuous homonculous with zero integrity.

Dear Twitter, you broke yourself. I can't even find who I follow anymore, you assholes.

I like Twitter best as electronic haiku for drunk people

The real campaign heats up: Gilbert Gottfried for Colonel Sanders bit.ly/1SFX48d

watching #ObamaFarewell totally nude and eating leftover jambalaya. The darkness is closing in. #TrumpDarkness

Watching Obama's final address, and realizing how very, very far we are about to descend. Farewell, O Captain my Captain! Heavens save us.

We've been covering Joe Arpaio for more than 20 years. Here's a couple of things you should know about him... 1/many