New favorite Mariner courtesy of addie Lookout Landing

I brew her tea. She brings me TP. It’s the circle of love.

Hello? Is it me I’m looking for?

Happy 2-year adopt-iversary to this nerd. #dogsoftwitter

I don’t know why everyone gives Kyler Murray shit for bad body language. The man has pouty lips and resting scrunch face. Leave him be.

Steroids.

Watching Seahawks Twitter melt down yesterday was cathartic for some reason.

Fuck these guys for trying to sneak into my TL and life.

Zombie appreciation day is the weirdest holiday.

My lady and I had to put the Carl (Craw) to sleep last Saturday. I am bummed but she is really bummed + sad. 18 years isn’t bad, but we coulda done 22 easy. Maybe 26. Come back.

It’s not always future hall of fame utility man Sam Haggerty that starts the rallies, but it SEEMS like it’s always future HOFer Ham Swaggerty. #mariners

This is fun to watch. Total Blue Jays erasure.

Hi everybody. This loss is my fault. I got a celebratory shot in the top of the 8th inning even though I knew better. I’ll do better next time. #Mariners

Is Juan Soto just a younger Nelson Cruz?

Trump was my red line. I think I have to quit this super informative app. Maybe I’ll learn the guitar after all.

My final tweet is: what is the female equivalent of dudebro?

I did this in June.