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I can already tell that the computer mouse is the outdated technology I’m going to cling to in old age. you’d have more luck digging up my Irish great-grandmother and convincing her to embrace Protestantism than you would convincing me to make a PowerPoint with a trackpad

The new Pope has a degree in mathematics from Villanova University. This guy doesn’t just understand sin. He understands cos.

the body and blood of Christ

American Pontiff was a surprise to me American Pontiff already hates JD

Pope Leo XIV was an American college student in 1977, which means at long last, we probably have a Pope who knows the lyrics to Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"

“Terrible things are happening outside. At any time of night and day, poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes.” -Anne Frank, 01/13/1943

BREAKING: Google Earth updated their images of Gaza. Compare. Being against this is not “antisemitic” or “pro-terrorist”. It’s pro-human. Sincerely, A Jewish American.

incredibly funny to convert to a religion that thinks one specific guy is infallible, only for that one specific guy to go on the internet and tell everyone you suck

It came to me in a dream

got a notification on my phone that my screen time has dropped 30% and was briefly proud of myself before I remembered that it’s because I have been playing Oblivion Remastered for 7 hours per day

fly me to the moon before all the moon condos are gone let me see what rent is like on MoonZillow dot com

Happy Mother’s Day to my mom, a woman who generously gifted me her whole entire face

Your password must contain two characters who talk to each other about something other than a man

POV: you are 90 seconds late feeding a chihuahua her breakfast

Not true. It still has great spaghetti recipes.

pleased to announce that I am now offering my services as a paid HBO branding consultant, my main responsibility would be to wander the halls of HBO and slap anyone who suggests changing any aspect of the name, colour scheme or logo