The bread delivery dude brought us 40 loaves of sourdough bread this morning. 34 of them have noticeable mold. I love my job🙃🙃🙃

I'm not doomscrolling. I only spent an hour scrolling through the dadrespect tiktok account because I am a well adjusted adult with a very healthy relationship with my father

Himbo: « Those Crepes were supposed to be French, not continental. Refire them. » Estúpido: « Fuck this. Maybe I'll just French you! » H: « Go ahead! » *Long awkward silence* Me: « So are y'all gonna start Frenchin' or did neither of you think before you spoke? »

Maybe only 6 tickets in the first 2 hours and 40 minutes is a bad start to the day. Maybe I get to go home early though🤔

Me: *makes job listing for a Friday-Sunday dishwasher position* Guy: *applies* Guy, during his interview: « I can't work Sundays » Me: « I don't want to waste anymore of your time; I can't hire you » Guy: « Are you discriminating against me because of my religion? »

Carpal Tunnel horror story day

Our newest server came in an hour early, popped a Totino's Pizza in the microwave, and is now sitting on the counter on the cookline, eating it while watching Theo and I get ready to open. There's nobody else in the building. She hasn't said a word to either of us.

Meeting my girlfriend's friends. Got asked by a gal what the best advice I ever received was (odd icebreaker). I told her some generic quote from my grandmother. She fired back with « That seems impractical. Best advice I ever got was never fuck a man who needs a chore list »

Just me and RAWDOG in BOH today because I had to send my only dishwasher and Finger Guns home sick and the prep guy is in Vegas

« I am Sisyphus and this grill is my boulder »

Today I am remembering that we promoted Estúpido to the cookline because he and RAWDOG were a troublesome duo who used to make the hostesses cry by bullying them in the dish pit. Now they're both just on the cookline bullying people again. We have made a mistake

RAWDOG, after burning his finger: « Why is this grill so hot? » Estúpido: « It's the meat grill. It cooks meat » RD: « And? I barely touched it and my finger is already starting to blister » E: « About that: You are made of meat »

Went to use the restroom, came back to all 4 of the other cooks, including my manager cousin, chanting « Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper Whopper »

I love my team, but working at the other location is so much fun. Feels much more like family and the teamwork is significantly better. There's no training to do. It helps that youngest guy on the line out here is 38 while my location has an average age of 25.

« Alright bitches, who is taking me out to dinner tonight? Because I don't get FUCKED IN THE ASS LIKE THIS FOR FREE » Yeah, this is the store I belong at.

« I'm going to break into a children's hospital, find a terminally ill child, and force him to use his make-a-wish on getting this awful fucking item off our menu »

ME AND WHO?!

Context: Our prep cook labels the pecans as < nuts > on storage containers *RAWDOG puts pecans into a waffle* Estúpido: « Dude, you totally just nutted in my waffle » RAWDOG: « Bro... » Estúpido, caressing RAWDOG's face: « Bro... »