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So, Phil, I guess all that “Follow You Follow Me” stuff was just bullshit?

Hey .Pete Hegseth we’re ready when you are.

Every single time a company ships a parcel to me through .DHL Express UK dhlcommerce it is delayed. Every. Single. Time. I really wish companies would stop using them. Hopeless.

My favourite, albeit lesser known, Shakespeare quotation: “I’ll have a party for my 52nd birthday if it kills me...!” #ShakespearesBirthday/deathday

I like desks so much I've written a book on one.

I hear she gets a lot of satisfaction from a rabbit on a regular basis.

This is like Weekend at Bernie’s

New poetry pamphlet out now! ‘Twelve pages of silliness’ Counting Chronicle ‘Thin but fun’ Narrowness News ‘A bit odd’ Somebody Else

If Sigmund Freud was alive today, I’d wish him a very happy vagina. Oops, I mean, birthday.

For a moment there, a seagull thought he was Freddie Mercury.

Like many Popes before him, Pope Leo doesn’t want his mum to know that he smokes so he has a puff up the chimney after she’s gone to bed.

Greatest parody account in existence. Wait, WHAT!?

Oh my! Has anyone ever seen GB News? You wouldn’t believe the reason why I saw it, but I did. I saw around 7 mins of ‘Patrick Christy’s Tonight’. I’ve never seen anything so sphincter wincing in my life.

Unbelievable.

Grok add Joe Pesci, smiling and showing his gold tooth, to the photo.

No likes. Screw all of you.

“I’ll never reconcile my love for anagrams with my dream of becoming a circus act” Well, that’s me eating my sword. #LunchPun #ratemypun

Text convo with the teenage daughter. Ongoing. Feel like she has me in check. Where do I go from here, guys?