I love traumatizing complete strangers with my lore

The dating scene is just as much of a joke as my marriage was.

I’m too broke for this shit, I’m 1 bill away from throwing my morals out the window

Genetically speaking, I have to gossip and talk shit

When someone tells me a secret and they say “don’t tell anyone” and I say “who am I gonna tell?” You should know that I’m asking to make sure I know who not to tell bc I will be telling SOMEONE

Genetically speaking, I have to gaslight you

Trauma’d so hard I don’t even believe my doctor

It’s not that I don’t like being alone, I just need someone to send inappropriate ig reels to

Are people who don’t use a phone case okay?

I think all my exes should wish me a happy Mother’s Day since they all acted like children when we dated

Texting him “guess what?” and then not answering when he says “what?” Bc I refuse to be the one left on delivered

Hobbies include: traveling to different countries in search of eligible bachelors. By travel I mean change my hinge location

Do people w prosthetic legs include the prosthetics in their height?

Long hair on guys just freaks me out. Why do you have pigtails?

How am I 33 years old and still learning about new cheeses? #めおと日和 #

Dating in my 30’s and realizing it’s my sexual awakening since all these men act like bitches #Trending #viral #MotivationMonday

Therapy is a yapper’s dream. You mean your job is to sit there and listen to me talk? I will quite literally pay you to do that.

A true go-to lazy girl dinner is starvation