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Had to drop an early like to get her attention, I’m pretty much rent free at this point. #cleanuponaislemypants

Please fucking #shrink high school kids at the gym. Yeah bro let’s pull our shirts up to check how shredded our abs look” no one’s checking you and your boyfriend out.

Run game has been stagnant all first half, time to take the top off. #spreadoffense

This one’s for Anthony “A-Train” Worthington as promised. Never kill yourself (even if you lost your best eater today)

Ooooooh look at me I’m Timothee Chalamet. I’m a hyper-successful actor and I convinced Kylie Jenner to come to Indianapolis, Indiana with me. I have insane college football knowledge. Fuck you dude.

Me pulling over

PLEASE GOD do anything you want to me.

Gameday.

GAY SON HITS IT HIGH, HITS IT DEEP, IT IS OUTTA HERE!!!

17 dollars for a fucking vodka lemonade? Didn’t realize Roy’s management came to Chicago. #KillRoys #shrink

Time is simply a flat fucking circle.

Had to watch that fucking abomination last night and now this. A-Train’s just running cold. #wokenonsense

If Sean O Malley taught us anything tonight, it’s that quitting weed and not cranking hog doesn’t work for shit. Looks like it’s #whiteboysummer as usual.

The left is fucking irate

He can’t keep getting away with this #balluptop

Feeling superior to all the interns on their lunch break. Being unemployed fucking rules. #expand

I respect the shirt wearing, Indy.

That theme song from How To Train Your Dragon has an aura about it. Brings me back to childhood.

Going to enjoy my multiple 5 star hotels and VIP nightclubs on the coast of Italy next week. That bitch ass TJ McConnell can’t hurt me from there.