People on the next cafe table are having a business meeting. Sounds like he’s getting her to do some accounting for his company. Then she says, “so this is a real job then? I thought it was a trick to get back at me. You know, coz it was exactly two years ago I broke up with you”

We slid smoothly from, 'identify how you want, but don't expect us to play along' to 'if a child is rumoured to have a factually inaccurate belief, the press and government should mount a nationwide campaign of remedial bullying.'

trying to leave twitter

Saw Alice Fraser Alice R Fraser perform her new show Twist at the Angel Comedy this evening. It was a excellent. If you are going to the Edinburgh Festival this year, I can’t recommend this show enough. A must see!!

This is a huge opportunity. Don't be shy, and please pass it on.

Just left home to start my journey to the Fringe. Got in the taxi, and the literal first song that comes on is “Road to Hell”

I’m the 39th best* comedian* of the 21st century I’ll have you know.*** telegraph.co.uk/comedy/comedia… * subjective ** subjective *** if “know” = buy tickets to my show

I like how Paul F Taylor's brain works and this was full of jokes I wish I'd thought of. My face hurt from smiling. Highly recommend for anyone who saw and enjoyed my 2017 show, "Out of Order".

Scotsman Wae Hae!

Really lovely 5 star review for the show I directed. Don’t miss your chance to see this, because as the show will reveal, the chances are limited!

Some lovely audience reviews for Head In The Clouds Edinburgh Festival Fringe - only 5 more shows left! tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/paul-…

And now for some non-edfringe related content - here’s 🌤️Cloudbusting🌧️ by Kate Bush arranged for string quartet

I wake on suddenly the final morning of Edinburgh Festival Fringe. I’ll do a real update, but for now just well done all. It’s an extraordinary thing. Half trade show, half convention, half conference, half masterclass, half fun-fair, half endurance event, half experimental life-art dance piece.

I mean, I’m obviously gonna share it when someone says something this nice about me… But Paul is the best, and I absolutely loved working on his show. Hope we get to bring it elsewhere so more of you can see how great it is

A handful of sketches I wrote are airing in this award winning series airing in radio 4 at 18.30 today #PleaseUseOtherDoor bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00…

I always feel sorry for the actor playing the doctor / police officer who has to give bad news. We only ever hear their first two lines, then the rest of the speech gets filtered out to a low burble while we cut in tight on the main actor's face and hear reverby sad piano chords

I’m going to blow this thing right open right now. 85% of lineup shows where it’s a big name comedian ‘and friends’, they’re not actually friends with all the other acts.

I appear to be slowly taking over a highly popular podcast about cycling, despite knowing nothing on the subject… But Ned is the most fun to talk to, so I’m enjoying every second

Ned is a mensch. It’s been an honour and a privilege to be part of this journey