I currently have the illness where you wake up feeling like a REAL piece of shit but by the end of the day you’re great, laughin it up havin a good time, then you go to sleep and feel like a REAL piece of shit again the next morning. Been 5 days of this.

Just passed homeless guy in Denver with newer iPhone than me.

True enlightenment is when you realize ground turkey > ground beef.

You have to call these dipshits out. They’re rotten to the core and enable the worst. But in doing so you only give them exactly what they want. Matt Walsh playbook. It’s the bleakest cycle imaginable. Content for contents sake.

‘Lobe Ultra trying to make people think they want to crush a beer right after an exhausting workout is hilarious.

couldn’t unhear it so i had to do this

Totally! Thats what I’ve been saying, it was just a normal and totally common playful tease that we all do with children to goof around with them since they love that kind of thing! And it’s normal! So what, the Dali Lama can’t have fun!? Can’t suck a kids tongue? Get outta here.

We call them the Muni-Lot Marauders and their mascots are the 7ft tall trannys who everyone loves but are afraid of Cleveland Browns Ryan Catanese @ManYetiNick1

For the 1000th time I used a men’s bathroom and the automatic sink worked for everyone except me.

All my sons will be elevator repairmen and we shall have an empire.

Been happening for a while but I no longer have the desire to consume an alcoholic beverage at any time. Even in a rowdy environment I’ll just enthusiastically chug a Fanta. None of it tastes good! Maybe a ranch water here and there but that’s IT

Tennis Gods why have you forsaken me

That guy shouldn’t have been standing there

Good. I hate the Ravens. Maybe you shouldn’t have stolen an entire football team. Maybe that’s why this happened. Food for thought.

Guys being dudes Ryan Catanese

The amount of terrible life hacks on this site is astounding. Tweet says it’s $150, when it’s actually $300 and he’s “splitting with his gf” - this is awful advice, does not save money, is not good for you, and by day 3 I guarantee it’s gross.

Happy 305 day to a guy who might get honorable mention for best executive producer when all is said and done, but probably not Mike Ryan (Ruiz) 🙌🏽 GO CAVS.