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Just facetimed my grandma. She's fuming I didn't tell her I'm on holiday in Italy

This tweet now has "it's... Rebekah Vardy" vibes

People who start sentences with "Listen" are always bad at listening

I love going under the water in the bath then coming up suddenly and pretending to be a character in a BBC One drama having a traumatic flashback

Our boy's on fire these days

My grandma has the energy of someone who's biggest dream it was to become a grandma

Woho - London come watch some jokes on April 23rd

You gotta bloody go to this

Thor and Freya: Norse as F*ck Ya ya ding dong. Two of the UK’s most exciting new comedians - Freya Mallard & Thor Stenhaug present an hour of standup! Saturday 23rd April 5pm 🎟️bit.ly/3NVvNPO

Come and watch us on Saturday at 5pm

At the end of the day, we're all just hoping we live long enough to be able to do this in the park on a Tuesday afternoon

Went off stage last night thinking I'd smashed the gig and an audience member walked up to me and went "Tough crowd tonight?"

The Edinburgh Fringe should have financial fair play rules