Drunk college kid in handcuffs: “I’ll have your job. My Dad is a lawyer!!!” “Oh ya? What’s his name?!” *Googles* Sweet. I’ll be sure to call him on my next home purchase.

September in College town: Drunk zombie entitled kids EVERYWHERE. Why can’t we just go back to the occasional naked July junkie waving around a needle around in the middle of the road??? #copproblems

Things Cops Like Night shift 2: nope, it’s not me. It’s them.

E-bikes: the bane of police existence.

Night #4 on the same patrol uniform shirt. Smelltest: boarderline pass.

If you’re so road-raged that you and your new “best buddy” are out of your cars yelling at each other at the next red light... you may want to look in the rear view mirror first. Also don’t be wanted. #wherearewetowingyourcarsir

Just because you can go hands on, doesn’t mean you should. The key to policing 2018 in a world of cameras, complaints, and outrage... Use. Your. Words. If you can’t: practice. Develop the gift of gab, and save yourself going through the ringer.

Things Cops Like Just because people are watching doesn't change anything. How about, don't be afraid to do your job. There's a time to talk and a time not to talk. Know the difference.

Bad things happen to good people all the time. All you can do is your best to minimize the damage to innocent victims. A healthy realization is that this world doesn’t make sense, and you’ll drive yourself insane trying to make sense of it. We’re here for you. #thinblueline

When you’re nice and tired of the anti police rhetoric... remember: 2% of the population is responsible for ALL of Twitter tweets. #disconnect #putthephonedown

A Cop's uniform doesn't mean he's a robot... and a mans skin color does not mean he's a criminal.

Is Twitter tolerable now that Elon Musk is steering the ship?! Got pretty bad there for a few years….