“Sausage me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”

‘Hand Roasted’? Who’s got hands hot enough to roast coffee? 🔥 #coffeejoke #joke

When finishing a drink, I always get the thought/urge to throw the empty glass at a wall. #intrusivethoughts

#artvsartist2022 #artvsartist follow my work on Instagram @woodwolfworkshop

When’s #myspace coming back? Tom Anderson.

The third option no-one mentions but definitely does. #MerryChristmas

I’m not a big fan of odd years. #2023 - you’ve gotta convince me otherwise. Go.

A poem for the New Year: As I tweet on the loo, As many of you do, I wish, a year of greatness for you. #poem #poetry #profound

Claire 🫤

#TheLastOfUsEp3 the most wonderfully moving & heartbreaking TV I’ve seen in decades. ❤️ what incredible actors

Hey Elon Musk, do you ever turn on your twitter notifications 🔔 just so you can see your phone go absolutely bonkers?

Ready to get back into #wordle

Why is everyone acting like they use that word in everyday conversation? #wordle638

When does the jousting start? #CoronationConcert

Thought Stella was gonna start singing Hey Jude instead #CoronationConcert

Fuck. Imagine if an EMP hit right now #CoronationConcert it’s raining drones

Weird. I actually fancy a Jagerbomb. Just for like a normal drink.. with my lasagna. I’m not sure what to make of it so I turn to the 1 or 2 people who see my tweets to tell me. #jagerbomb

The day I had my first Taco Bell was also the day I had my last. 🤢