Polling USA Trump is not even hiding who he paying Atlas must have cost him a bunch to mess up their ‘accuracy rating’ Most accurate don’t pay bills but $500k will 😂🤣😂 It’s ALL about the $$ AtlasIntel, Rasmussen & Trafalgar x.com/aintscarylarry…

Let's send Ted Cruz back to his former career of being a low-level Neil Sedaka & Boy George Impersonator.

Roll the credits.

Trump's final message montage makes Johnny Cash's 'Hurt' video look like 'Walking On F'n Sunshine!'

Can’t decide what’s more of a shit-show; Trump’s lead balloon Don Rickles/Rodney Dangerfield/Hitler mashup or his X-rated Marcel Marceau human puppet show?

Trump mocked Montana Senator John Tester’s weight? Well isn’t that just the aberration calling the mensch a MF’er!

Great pickup line right? "Hey baby, yeah, I voted for Kamala. My sign? Harris/Walz '24! Well that, and 'Country Over Party/Let's party!' You?"

Baron Piehole Von Asshole.

'William F. Fuckly?'

Popcorn? Check. Cider mill cider? Check. Fireball? Check. Cued up 'Celebration,' 'I Gotta Feeling,' and 'Hava Nagila?' Not-yet-check, but check back with me later so we can read the room (and not just the tea leaves).

A win today cinches my future grandpa name: 'Kornacki.'

Win or lose, I still get to tell Elon Musk to fuck off tomorrow, right?

Greetings from Michigan! Swing state. Battleground state. Militia state.

Jill Stein is the Gus Hall of Lyndon LaRouches. Or so I'm told. #LookItUp

Fifty bucks says JD Vance changes his name again by Christmas. ¡SATIRISTAS! comedycentral Funny Or Die

Trump's closing montage makes Johnny Cash's 'Hurt' video look like 'Walking On F'n Sunshine!' What’s worse; Trump’s tired Rickles/Hitler mashup or his X-rated prop-comic shtick? He mocked John Tester’s weight? Isn’t that just the-aberration-calling-the-mensch-a-rat-bastard!

Sure the Internet is making me anxious right now but at least I just learned the best way to store apples so that they last a month.

There's no right or wrong in our generation. It's all up to interpretation. Put a spin or a slant on any situation. The truth takes a backseat - to the best presentation. Pull your head outta the oven - and stick it in the sand: Wake up, wake up man. Wake up, wake up man.

Who knew that 'Kumbaya' actually meant 'Go fuck yourself?'

'Lady Grape.' 'Foursome.' 'Escortfandel.'