Sometimes tinder feels like walking through a graveyard and just seeing “Chad: No kids, never married, Nothing serious” on every headstone

Good morning, how is your butt?

Wonder what he’s on here for

You and every other man on this app, Dylan

How does my iPhone predictive text remember my ex boyfriend’s name when I deleted him from my contacts, unfollowed him on Instagram, and stopped texting him years ago. Like how much more closure do you fucking need Siri come on girl we’re past this

Would they also scream when you took the puzzle apart ?

Every guy in DC is “looking for their AOC” ... but like, a slightly hotter one!

Dare you to find a straight man who tells you his love language is something other than “physical touch”

If I did this would I get more matches

Me on dating apps 5 years ago: Ew, a fish. Next please. Me on dating apps now: Well now that fish has a certain sparkle about it, doesn’t it? A certain reassurance in its cold lifeless eye that the man who killed it seemed to be a decent guy, overall? Perhaps I’ll swipe right

Ok I’m going to treat online dating like the stock market. No more investing in “high value” profiles with little chance of reward bc everyone wants a piece. I’m looking for those fuzzy profile pics and empty bios with the glimmer of a potential high growth opportunity #stonks

But what is the charcuterie made from?

New rule: Not sleeping with him until he watches a season of 90 day fiancé with me and masters all the top Larissa quotes

God bless the men who match with me after two glasses of wine 👽

Just realized I can’t actually remember the last time a real person emailed me on my personal email.

New dating approach: if you ghost me, I'm haunting you

Ironically, writing “good vibes only” in your dating app bio is a terrible vibe

Seems like a chill Friday night