You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

A wise man once said nothing.

Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank he can rob the damn world.

Its raining on one side of the road and dry on another. Alas we humans have even infected Mother Nature with our biases!

Making movies is but lying in such a way that everyone thinks it's their own personal truth.

"The people who put up with you on your darkest nights, should be the ones you spend your brightest days with."

Not only am I a master of suspense, but I also

Life doesn't come with instructions, so why live as if it also comes with rules?

He who laughs, lasts.

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. That's why I don't go out there. I stay in here where it's a man-eat-chocolate-cake world.

I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.

I wondered if there was intelligent life on other planets. Then I realised that there is hardly intelligent life on THIS planet.

We can talk to astronauts in space, but we can’t get phone reception inside elevators.

The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.

Best Advice: Don't dwell on your past, disappointments, or failures, you can't trip on something behind you.

There's a thin line between ''I should tweet about that'' and ''I should talk to a therapist about that...''

People have spent a collective 200,000 years playing Angry Birds. That's roughly the amount of time modern humans have existed!

Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit.

If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough.

CHILDLINE 1098 is a national, 24/7, free, phone outreach service for children in distress. Pls Dial 1098 if you see a child who needs help.