Clever first tweet.

May the 4th be with you, always...until midnight in your particular time zone. #MayThe4thBeWithYou

I just got new contacts and glasses. All I can say is you have all been very lucky on the roads at night. #blind #visiontax #icansee! #noiwaswrong

I just found out there are theatre awards in Chicago called the Jeff Awards. So now I need to do exceptional theatre in Chicago and win one.

Saw a bumper sticker on the way to work that read "Dry Land is a Myth" Good to see the Waterworld Fandom is alive and well.

Arthur is doing it right. But now, all shows need gay weddings with important plot developments that only happen during the ceremony to piss off religious bigots.

The print media is going to save a lot of time by reusing old headlines and switching Iraq to Iran.

If I lived in Washington D.C. I'd be standing in front of a tank tomorrow.

Triton is going to have to warn Ariel about all the fragile white people on the land. "Mermaids? Totally makes sense, see them all the time." *she's black* "Sweet white baby jesus! The mermaids are waging war on our culture! It's all we have left! Besides wealth, power..."

What kind of social anxiety do I have? I said hello to loudly to someone this morning and now I'll be thinking about that all day.

True: Not all Americans embrace racism. Also true: Too many Americans embrace racism.

Amazing stuff. You've heard him before and didn't even know it. Now you can get some stunning visuals with it.

The repeated claim of "I'm sick of cowering in my house!" is very illuminating. No one is making you a coward. You just happen to be one. A coward who can't handle the responsibility of an fully grown empathetic adult.

New album by one of the most talented artists in the scene. You've definitely heard his music before, now buy the album!

Donald Trump now has more Impeachments than Twitter Followers.

On The Keeg Now volume.com/thekeegshow/