*we stay slim thicccc 🥵

Today is my 27th birthday, my “Golden Birthday,” which is badly overrated but oh well. Right now, I should be at a bar downing beers and getting ready to scream at a bunch of bullpens for messing up my baseball picks & some walk-on for not dribbling out the clock in the Sweet 16.

PSA: Putting jeans on today.

We need Baudi Moovan to find the cure to COVID-19.

My biggest error in all this was forgetting to pack my cowboy hat for quarantine

I’ve been doing fine during this quarantine. Can’t tell if I’m an introvert or just an isolationist.

House 4 full of white girls and white girl

Crackhead energy 😫🤤

Tesla stockholders doing the “hold your breath for two hours” challenge

This is fucking awesome

And a quick Happy Father’s Day shoutout to my favorite dad of three sons — Kirk Ferentz.

Dear Trump Campaign, Fuck you. You’re not invited. Stop playing my song. No thanks, Brendon Urie, Panic! At The Disco & company.

Chili is the tequila of the food world.

Headline from early 2021: “Diplomatic Immunity No More” - President West signs VP Pusha T’s order for immediate deportation of Aubrey “Drake” Graham

There are tolls in Kansas. There are TOLLS in KANSAS.

You can more or less infer the politics of a podcast by their ads.

All I can say is that I can’t wait for Pardon My Take tomorrow. #BearDown Big Cat

Doge