Shucks, I have to retake my scuba certification test because I scored below C level. . .

My type of morning

It's a ruff life

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!

Apollo got in trouble so he's pouting

Just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion!

Let's go Mystah Fox, we're out here pulling for you as always!

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen

Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

My Breath? Fired.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case, but I must carry on.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

Never trust an atom, they make up everything!

Inoue gets to be P4P number one for the next four days!

I see y'all @NRG_Cory , congratulations!

Been a hell of a journey for me from almost dying to continue to fight. My journey as a fighter is over, so long and farewell I love you Boxing

I had it a draw. 8-4 for Beterbiev is crazy though. We definitely need to see a rematch.

Tudor may have edged the fight, a draw was fair and Calderon by a round was fine. But those judges scorecards were ridiculous. Typical for a #goldenboy #boxing card