BREAKING: Dallas Cowboys QB Dak Prescott has tested positive for being overrated. #Coronavirus

Where’s Magic’s johnson’s doctor who found his cure when you need him. Someone pay that man to save the world. #CoronavirusOutbreak

I survived a wet leather belt, wooden spoon, and bunch of asshole friends Generation Z is gonna survive being quarantined in their safe place using their moms internet. I promise.

Quarantine Day 1: The official Start of Colorado’s Quarentine. Woke up at 5am and reminded myself it’s not an excuse to be a lazy ass, you can still get out and exercise people! Don’t blame being unhealthy because you’re told to stay inside, make the best of this shit! Let’s go!

A sign of coronavirus is not having any taste, so a lot of y’all will never know you got the virus.

I have been in sales for about 16 years, since being quarantined due to the coronavirus I have made a career switch thank you to my wife, the new Head of the IT department of the Bittle Household.

As an endurance athlete, I’m calling all you stay at home marathoners bluffs.

Here’s Hayden Cairns upside down looking like a goal post.

Daks brother struggled so hard with his brother not taking the 34 mil. He died today. Rip

Check out EDC Las Vegas for DB2 X Donny D interview. Let’s go!!!

Dak in Cook holding out is like that Co worker of yours who calls out 32 times a year with a flu (even during the summer) and then they come to your boss asking for a raise. Let that sink in.

I bet her name is fat girl summer

Can’t believe I used to leave my house five days a week. That seems excessive. #covid

My @garmin watch isn’t able to use any GPS, or record the activity.

Melania Trump has now blocked President Trump on all platforms including her OnlyFans.

Last year Myles Garrett Knocked the shit out of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This Year the entire browns organization knocked the shit out of them. Munanyo!?

Imagine losing to the Browns in the Playoffs. Now imagine losing to the browns with no head coach and missing players. #puckfittsburgh

Taki Taki, fraudi fraudi!

Kyle: what makes the world go round. . . Also Kyle: medium dick