If you’re at an event and want to leave, you can say “I’m gonna need to wrap this up. I gotta go home to watch the Beautician and the Beast”

Why am I still a teachers pet

Teletubies are the original morning routine vloggers

Having an XYZ is a power move

I got cut from the no-cut freshman soccer team and my grandma told all my cousins

Just dropped 2 pretzels in the tub. Still good to eat or skip?

You’re telling me this is not dr evil?

Lmaoooo checking out to pay at “Drybar” with my hair done and the woman at the front goes “checking in?”

Vags / crypto / space exploration

Dr. Evil is my comedy mentor

Is there going to be an Austin powers 4 jw

LA: 9/7 I’m doing my new interactive health class musical- come on down🤡🐴🙏👍💕

Live in LA and wanna go to a sex ed comedy musical hosted by Melissa Strype!? Of course you do!!!! juniorhighlosangeles.com/calendar/big-l…

Is anyone else having this issue where your mom shares your Amazon prime acct and next thing you know your sister’s fancy feast cat food is on subscribe and save on your credit card being delivered to your uncle Bob every 2 weeks?

they might be giants and Melissa Strype and i might be geniuses bc we just came up with calling President Biden and First Lady Jill ... PB+J ...i mean my god.

Hyper from too much boba tea posting pictures of my favorite monkeys