Pope Bob slapping the top of the new Vatican trash cans- “You can fit so many deep dish boxes in one of these babies!”

From my Top Five Favorite Places to Pee list- If you ever find yourself on the 3rd floor of the Field Museum for research (i.e., Happy Hour), do yourself a solid and find the men’s room in the Zoology department.

I can’t believe that this administration is so bad they’ve got me defending Harvard.

Careful out there, Kermit.

My most enduring childhood memory of The Empire Strikes Back is the sound you hear about 40 seconds before Echo Base gets obliterated

At 7pm, a main hatchway caved in, and an old cook just came up and said “fellas, it’s been good to know ya.

That little sandbox and I have been through a lot together. DisneyWorld, 2000- Chicago, 2025

Ok fine, but I was only outside for like 30 minutes.

Look the bar couldn’t be any lower but I’m 10,000% certain I would make a better CEO than anyone who currently runs a media company

She was so real for that

At Midway airport with a stack of stuff from my parents basement in my carryon, including this 27 y.o. article announcing Suchomimus, and what do I see in Hudson News? Such a wild feeling to see a Jurassic Park toy of a new species that you chiseled out of the rock. #FossilFriday

You learn that Jurassic Park is a work of fantasy right from the get go because the field crew is wearing proper footwear in the quarry.

How the hell is this dog sitting like Walt Dalquest

Nothing makes the midwestern heart sing quite like driving the Model A to the farm stand for fresh-from-the-fields sweet corn on a summer evening.